I have memories of my Dad’s behavior that set an anti-racist example for me.
The most vivid of these occurred when I was 9 or 10 years old. My oldest brother, Larry, had been working as a “box boy” at a local Vons supermarket; he was 15 or 16 at the time.
As Larry was telling Dad a story about an event at the store. Larry used the “N” word to describe a customer.
My Dad stopped him from saying any more, and told him, “You can use that word, but when you get beat up, I’m not going to defend you.”
I understood my Dad to mean that the term Larry had used was very offensive and unacceptable, and if it provoked an angry response, it was justified.
Dad wasn’t going to defend an act of racism and bigotry by his son.
What a lesson for little me, so much so that I remember it all these years later. Dad was consistent in his example to extend compassion to all people. He looked down on no one.
It may be worthwhile to note that Dad had little formal education. He completed the sixth grade and then had to work full-time to help support his struggling family. His limited formal education did not diminish his sense of compassion and empathy.
Through his example, I learned the importance of respecting people of all backgrounds – religious, ethnic, racial, and more.
Later when I was a teenager, Dad told me of the horror of racial segregation he witnessed in the U.S. military during World War II. It was not until 1948, that is, after the war, that President Truman signed an executive order banning racial segregation in the Armed Forces.
Dad described how, as a white soldier at Fort Leonard Wood in Missouri, he had to walk past lines of hungry African American soldiers to enter the mess hall. The base commanders would not allow black soldiers into the mess hall to eat until all the white soldiers finished their meals and exited.
Dad told me that passing by these hungry black soldiers to enter the mess hall would make him sick to his stomach.
Through some research, I later learned that African American soldiers at Fort Leonard Wood went on strike over the discrimination they suffered.
In a letter of protest to the Office of Secretary of War, these soldiers referred to themselves as “. . .we ‘Negro Slaves’ of Fort Leonard Wood.” They protested about the “…cheap morale-breaking technique used by Commanding Officers of this camp to keep the Negro youth of Fort Leonard Wood in a servile and very much subordinate position.”
Dad also taught me to love Mexican culture. He loved to sing Mexican songs in Spanish, a language that he learned from his coworkers. Dad’s home language was French.
One song, in particular, the popular La Paloma (The Dove), he would often sing to me when I was a child, and he had a great tenor voice. Dad had learned these songs working in vineyards in Southern California.
Indeed, after his death, I learned from one of my relatives that Dad would lead the workers, mostly Latinos, in song as they picked grapes.
Prejudice against Mexicans and Mexican-Americans was rife during this era, as it is too often today. Obviously, Dad felt one with his fellow Latino workers and neighbors, and he passed on that spirit of love to me.
Obviously, as someone of European ancestry, I have not experienced the systemic racism that exists the United States. Nonetheless, I am witness to it all the time, and I believe my Dad’s example of love for all helped me to have more open eyes.
But, as Martin Luther King Jr. so eloquently said,
“Love without power is sentimental and anemic.”
To truly love in a way that has a positive impact is to intervene personally in the political and social realm to promote social justice. It also means passing on the message of love for all people to our children, as my Dad did through his example and words.
Read Next: One of my other blogs that I co-authored with my friend, Annette Sheckler: White Parents of Black Children Speak Out: America, Embrace All Your Children!